Been sober now for 15 months. I can say it has its perks. I don’t wake up in the bathtub wondering what I made myself the night before. I have on the other hand gravitated towards different things. Like being an adult who pays their bills on time. Studio time and work. I’m still that Pippy Long Stockings type, rough around the edges don’t forget with sauce on the side. I have grown a tougher calis through the years but I realize that maybe the more I see the truth in things even though as harsh as it may be I can start to grow in a different way then just push others towards the door. Being vulnerable is scary. Like I’d rather hide scary. I’d rather Play with fire, spiders, lions and snakes than be vulnerable.
I am going to start by asking different questions to change my beliefs about the world. Questions that create vision and support to others. Working on me being more aware and asking people in a the moment instead of thinking about it. Get messy in 2017.
Grandpa Grose was a cussing sailor whose favorite swear word was you fumble finger cock sucker. He would cuss and swear up a storm making his war models. I can’t say I entirely want to be more like him but I want to test out his roughness. He was a World War 2 vet. He managed the men of men he had to be tough. If you weren’t a brute you weren’t really a man. He learned a lot in 4 years than a man could learn in a life time.
See he was 6ft 4 maybe 5 but to me he was a giant. His hands were huge. So how in the hell did he make these models by hand many from scratch. The tiny little pieces the size of my 5 year old pinky nail. A real creative go for it kind of man. He has models he’s made across the country in museums. Crass & ballsy the type they don’t make anymore.